The strange hours give me time to sleep in and get errands done during the day. It's fantastic. Except on days like today, when I know I will stumble out of the newsroom, desperate for sleep, and step into a single-digit frost-fest. I am from Florida. We don't know how to deal with this.
Can't I just stay home, and someone could bring me a pair of these?
Not the tall people. I don't need a pair of those, seeing that I am always surrounded by tall people reminding me of my proper place in the world as a little lass of 5'2". I'm talking about the ridiculous, cozy hooded and footed pajamas, which I saw on Reddit and are available here. Or maybe this tie-dyed set that's sold out at the moment. Or this floral print. Just prop me up on the couch with a mug of Ovaltine, a book and my footed jammies, and I will recharge from my debilitating anxiety in no time, ready to face all the stressful adult stuff I've been putting off re: buying a house and making my current one presentable.
Even better, why don't you be a good girl or boy and make me a cup of Butterbeer? We've been experimenting with recipes and with store-bought and homemade butterscotch (my husband is a chef, so he insists on quality over convenience). Just add some cream soda to your melted butterscotch and butter, and voila. Magic.
Just please, don't make me go out there:
|What. The. BALLS.|
Or how about a MacBook Air? I've had my white MacBook for six or seven years. I think I'm due for an update.
And since I have extra jiggle jiggle boing boing to work off, I've been asking for a multipass to get back into a rigorous yoga practice. Just for pure ooh-I'm-so-daring fun, I'd love to take a pole fitness class here. My girlfriends took me to one just for our group during my bachelorette party in Orlando. It was a blast and I was sore as all hell. Those acrobatic dancers don't mess around. Damn, I'd even settle for some Zumba DVDs. And a gift certificate for the discipline to get out of bed early and work out.
You know what? I'm asking for too much. Just get me my footie pajamas and we'll go from there.